Work has always been a place away from it all, in a sense. I did not have my friends there aside from James, and I didn’t have to deal with family there, wherein I had many excuses to duck out of certain gatherings, parties and other such times where I would’ve been stuck in a small place, cramped with 20+ other people who I’ve known forever. It sounds bad, but you clearly haven’t been in a loud Yankee Italian family on a holiday!
When I learned my father had lost another job, I offered a quick solution which I know would work since I had the favor of my managers from how hard of a worker I had been. I told him, “Hey, you could come get a job with me! It’d take like two days and they’ll work with whatever schedule you’d need!” He acknowledged the offer and took it up. I thought it’d be a good idea for him, as they would let him work during the time my little brother was in school, which would give him just enough money to survive coupled with his food stamps. He had been telling me he was down on money for bills anyway.
For the first couple of weeks of him working there, things were good. He picked up on the job quickly, as I always knew he had done in other jobs. Within a week, he knew and could handle the grill area with ease, only getting stressed out on occasion. This would continue from 9am to 2pm every weekday as he would drop off and pick up my brother right before and right after work. This made for an interesting work schedule, as I would show up usually an hour or two later than him and stay far longer than his shift would’ve gone in general. In the time he was there, I normally wouldn’t be sent to the grill or table area, instead, being made to go into one of the customer service areas, such as the drive-thru.
There was something noticeable about his work ethic, though. Something I would’ve caught onto quicker had they let me work more closely with him. He always seemed to be lacking in association with the workplace and those around him. I knew that he wasn’t having a good run of working with one of the ladies back there, as she seemed to dislike him for no reason, and I understood that, but I never seemed to pick up on just how disassociated he was with the place in general.
It didn’t matter much, anyway, as his car broke down roughly three weeks into him working with me. He broke down at work, and was allowed to continue working on the car there instead of getting it towed, as he had no money to his name, and was adamant about getting it done and being able to jump back into work. He spent three weeks on the damn thing before finally resigning himself to the truth that he couldn’t fix it there, and that he would need to get it towed before it was forcefully removed from the property by the owner. By the time his car was removed from the lot, he was no longer an employee there. He could’ve taken the time to work during the week, fixing up the car more on break or getting it towed when he had more money in pocket from a check, but he didn’t. He allowed himself to fall back on the duties of work, and used it as an excuse for losing his job. He ended up trying to come back, but his work ethic had apparently slipped during that time, and he lost the job again anyway.
So why am I writing this post? Well, to be honest, because I was embarrassed. I was embarrassed to have convinced my boss to let my father work there when all he did was end up screwing them over. I ended up apologizing more times for my father not showing up for work, regardless of whether the car was broken down or not. Some days, he just didn’t show up, citing to me that he had slept in accidentally or forgot he worked that day, despite him having a set schedule. It was very, very embarrassing.
Working with family is hard. To a degree, you have this expectation that they will do as good or better than you. Additionally, you cannot help but apologize in their stead for their screw-ups, despite it not being your fault. It’s almost like it’s the obligation of the family. My father’s car was never fixed and was sold off to a random junkyard for scraps. He ended up jobless yet again, and all I could do was continue to apologize for what had happened.
When my boss finally had enough of me apologizing, he finally decided to lay it on me. “It’s not your fault, whether you told me about him applying first or not. I made the decision to hire him, and I know damn well you aren’t him, so it doesn’t affect us.” I remember back in the grocery store I worked at prior to this place, all that would happen is me getting blamed for the faults of my family. My mother worked there before me, and I could not live up to expectations in the eyes of management. My department manager would blame me for my grandmother not showing up or having trouble at work, and I’d get the brunt of it.
While I may have been embarrassed for what had happened with my father, and while I may have apologized in his stead, this person, this place, would never put me in the same boat as him. I worked hard, I did my job to the best of my ability, and that’s all that mattered to the people I worked for. Sometimes, we tend to feel responsible for actions sometimes not our own, ESPECIALLY with family. We allow ourselves to beat ourselves up about these things, and sometimes, we blame ourselves more than we blame those who caused the problems. We are not responsible for the choices and paths those around us take. We may influence some thoughts toward or away from certain things, but ultimately, it’s their own choices. Working with family can be tough on this front, especially if we were the ones who helped them along to this opportunity, but it needn’t be our fault in any way. Just keep being yourself, and don’t let them get in the way of the you that you are.
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